The True Blood Challenge follows the televised schedule of HBO's True Blood. Recaps will be posted on Mondays, after the original episodes air. Please keep this in mind if you wish to remain unspoiled.
If you have read the Sookie Stackhouse novels, please do not reveal any information beyond what has been televised on the HBO series. Thanks!
"You Smell Like Dinner" opens with Jason waking up, tied to a bed, to one of the Hot Shot boys licking his head wound. "I"m more of a band-aid kind of guy," he tells his pseudo nursemaid. Just as Jason convinces the teen were to untie him, Felton arrives and puts a shotgun in Jason's face.
Cut to the scene we really care about: Eric and Sookie. Eric tries to convince her to be his in exchange for his protection from other vampires seeking a taste of her faerie blood. Sookie declines, rather saucily, wondering if he thought that would be all it took for her to spread her legs. This left us to wonder why it would take that much in the first place.
Meanwhile, Bill's spy, Katerina, does other "favors" for the king besides going to Wiccan meetings, Hoyt takes on a bunch of fang haters outside Fangtasia, and Sam hits on Luna, a sexy shape shifting teacher from his support group. Lafayette confides in Jesus that he's worried about the use of black magic. Jesus assures him that there's nothing to worry about as long as one's soul is light.
Sookie goes to Bill's newly HGTV'd house to discover that Bill is king... and that he's moved on to another human. Sookie asks Bill for help with Eric. He advises her that he can't make Eric give up his property and that she should seek shelter in another human's home. Sookie questions the good that would do when he can just buy that too.
We are then treated to a flashback of Bill in 1982 in London. British Punk Bill is much sexier than Bon Temps Mainstream Bill. Though he is still feeding on humans, he has lost the ruthlessness we saw in him when he was with Lorena. He glamours his human food, recommending that he take an iron supplement and vitamin B for the next few days. Enter Nan Flanagan, who asks why Bill doesn't kill his prey. She proceeds to tell him that a vampire, Louis Pasteur, is working on a synthetic human blood drink that would allow them to mainstream. Bill begins his work for Nan as a spy.
Sookie confronts Sam about his attitude and tells him that she'll share where she really was when she's able. When Sookie meets Arlene and Terry's baby, Arlene is afraid that she can hear the baby's thoughts, which she can't.
Andy arrives at Hot Shot to get a fix of V. Crystal, who's hopped up on V because of Felton, finds Jason, who tries to get Andy's attention, and silences him, telling him she's found a way for them to be together forever. Felton gets one of the residents to give a tube of V to Andy to get him out of Hot Shot.
In Sam's office, Luna tells him, "I really want to let you in." She then proceeds to let his tongue into her mouth. Tommy asks about her as she leaves, and Sam is rude to him.
Arlene thinks her baby burst a vessel in her eye. In her defense, he was staring pretty intently at her, and he did smile in delight when it happened.
Sookie sees the creepy, evil fairies approaching her as she gets groceries from her car, but it turns out to be Tara. Approaching the house, the girls see that Eric bought Sookie a new door, on which there is a note: Out with the old. Sookie discovers that he has also bought a microwave, stocked the fridge with Tru Blood, and even built a hidey hole for himself. Sookie mutters about him being a psychopathic frat boy.
After yet another fight, during which Hoyt offends Jessica by referring to her blood as "that s---" when she offers him a sip to heal his beat-up face, Jessica returns to Fangtasia where she finds herself some fresh blood.
Bill tries to convince Eric to sell Sookie's house back to her. No such luck. He then sends him to stop Marnie's coven, who, as he found out from Katerina, practices necromancy. Eric is concerned that if they can control the dead, then they can control vampires.
Another flashback reveals how Bill claimed the throne. After a Matrix-like fight with Sophie Anne, we see "sniper" backup. This said team all fire wood bullets with silver cores, obliterating the former queen. We quickly find out that Nan is behind the team of assassins. After Bill lies to her about there being nothing special about Sookie, Nan declares him king and tells him to clean up: "You're covered in queen."
Desperate, Sookie turns to Pam in hopes she can convince Eric to sell the house back to her. After some quippy comments from Pam about being girlfriends, she advises Sookie that she needs to be somebody's or she won't be at all. Pam also tells Sookie that Eric cares about her in his own way. While waiting for Eric, Sookie discovers Jess drinking from someone other than Hoyt and tries to talk some sense into her. Jessica, disgusted with how Sookie treated Bill, makes it clear that she's the last person who should be giving advice.
At Sam's support group meeting, the shape shifters talk about the craziest thing they've ever shifted into. Luna reveals that she once shifted into her mother. A skin walker, Luna has the ability to shift into any animal, including humans, because she had killed another shifter (her mother during childbirth). Sam finds Tommy sneaking up on the meeting. They both change into birds, Sam ultimately tackling Tommy in the sky. When they are back on land, Sam realizes that Tommy doesn't have a limp anymore. They proceed to have a brotherly heart-to-heart. Naked.
Lafayette and Jesus bring Tara with them to the latest Wiccan meeting where they discover Marnie has plans to bring a dead human back to life. Cue Eric's grand entrance: "Y'all looking for a dead body?"
Eric forbids Marnie's coven from meeting. Marnie tells her coven to join hands. They are reluctant to do so until Eric bites Marnie; then, Holly gathers the circle. All join hands except for Lafayette. Tara throws a cross at Eric, causing him to release Marnie and grab Tara instead. This prompts Lafayette to join hands and close the circle of power, which Marnie uses to cast a spell on Eric.
Felton reveals that Jason and Crystal are going to make a were baby to continue the bloodline. In order to do that, though, they first have to make Jason a panther. Felton and Crystal both change into felines and begin nomming on him.
The episode ends with Sookie finding Eric wandering the woods half-naked. Not recognizing her, he asks, "Why do you smell so good?"
According to Wetpaint, Sunday's episode, "You Smell Like Dinner," is going to answer some questions from last season, including what in the world happened between Bill and Sophie Ann. We will also find out who the new women in Bill and Sam's lives are. Tara and Crystal return to their respective hometowns.
There she finds Barry, her favorite telepathic Bellhop from Dallas, as well as her Grandaddy Earl, who disappeared 20 years ago. We quickly learn that the faerie realm is a time warp of sorts, as Sookie's grandaddy thinks he has been away for only a few hours. As Sookie talks to Earl and observes others in the realm, she begins to suspect that eating the fruit is not as innocuous as eating an apple and ultimately comes to the conclusion that they are in a trap. Sookie telepathically warns her grandaddy, completely ignoring the fact that everyone there can hear her thoughts. All eyes turn on her, as Mab, queen of the faeries, tries to persuade Sookie to eat the light fruit. Sookie throws the fruit to the ground and sees the glamour of the faeries start to fade: the fruit is rotting, and Mab's beautiful features give way to briefly reveal the face of a terrifying creature. Mab chides Sookie for allowing a vampire to drink from her, which has put the future of the faerie race in jeopardy. Sookie learns that Mab is using the light fruit to harvest people and sends one of her magical beams of light from her hand to protect herself from the faeries trying to force her to eat the fruit. Everything quickly begins to disintegrate, revealing a dystopian-like wasteland full of grotesque creatures that descend upon Sookie.
Claudine's brother, Claude, helps Sookie, telling her that she has to jump into what looks like an abyss in order to reenter the human plane. Because Earl has eaten the light fruit, he is not allowed to leave the faerie realm. Not wanting to leave his granddaughter, though, Earl jumps with her. They land in the Bon Temps cemetery, the act of which awakens both Bill and Eric from their sleep. Earl, quickly showing signs of peril, gives Sookie his pocket watch to give to Jason and "dies," which is more like a burst into dust, at his wife's graveside. Mourning her granddaddy, Sookie returns to her house, which has been overrun by contractors, all of whom seem to regard her as an intruder. One of them calls the police, and Jason, dressed as a deputy, responds to the call, shocked to see Sookie. Though Sookie thinks that she has been gone for only a few hours, Jason reveals that she has been missing for 12.5 months.
Jason, who appears to be a much more competent deputy than anyone thought possible, explains to Sookie that he sold her house, thinking she was dead. Once Sookie gives him their grandaddy's pocket watch, he believes her story of being in another world, but he warns her that people will think she's crazy if she tells them the truth. In addition to his new line of work and babysitting Sheriff Andy Bellfleur, who has become addicted to V, Jason also, fulfilling his promise to Crystal, is taking care of the Hotshot community, bringing them food and helping them however needed. Most of the Hot Shot residents seem grateful to him, except for one, who locks Jason in a freezer as the show closes.
As soon as night falls, Bill races to Sookie's house to see for himself that she is alive and well.
Bill senses (by smell, perhaps?) that she was with Claudine. He explains that he felt empty for the past year, believing she was dead. When Andy arrives to question Sookie about her disappearance, Bill covers for her, saying that he had sent her away on secret vampire business. Bill leaves Sookie, respecting her desire for distance, which already seems to be wavering.
We later see Bill at a ribbon cutting ceremony, playing the part of politician. When one of his spies reports back to him, we learn that Bill is now the King of Louisiana.
Not to be outdone by Bill, Eric arrives at Sookie's house moments after him, announcing that while everyone else had given up on Sookie, he hadn't. In a strange reversal of roles, Eric retreats when Bill orders him to leave. He returns to Fangtasia, where he turns on the charm to record an inviting commercial for the bar to help Nan Flanagan and the AVL win back the human population "one smile at a time."
As Sookie is undressing for the night, Eric appears in her home. Confused as to how he could enter after she rescinded his invitation, Eric reveals, after some serious flirtation, that he is the one who bought Sookie's house. He explains that he knew she was still alive and that if he owned the house, he would also own her. "Sookie. You. Are. Mine," he informs her, as he drops his fangs.
Despite being happy that he hasn't had a vision in over 10 months, Lafayette agrees to go with Jesus to a Wiccan meeting, which is where Lafayette says the best line of the night: "It smells like where old air fresheners go to die." Here we see Holly, the waitress who did a spell last season in an attempt to help Arlene abort her baby; "Katie," who we later find out is a spy for Bill; and Marnie, who appears to be the "head witch." During Marnie's chanting, she beckons Lafayette over to her and conjures the spirit of Eddie, the vampire who had been supplying Lafayette with V. Lafayette freaks out but convinces himself that Jesus supplied her with information.
Jesus convinces Lafayette to give the Wiccan meeting another try. Unbeknownst to the rest of the circle, Marnie is trying to bring her dead bird back to life. The magic fails... until Lafayette closes the circle. His surge of power momentarily resurrects the bird.
Tara, who is going by the name "Toni," is a cage fighter now, and a lesbian. When she receives a text from Lafayette that Sookie has returned, alive and well, she chooses to stay where she is.
Jessica and Hoyt
Cohabitation is taking its toll on Jessica and Hoyt. In their first scene, we see them fighting about Jessica's cooking, or lack thereof. Hoyt suggests a date night, and they go to Fangtasia, where Jessica fantasizes about another man's pulsing artery. Pam calls her out on her inability to be domesticated, but Jessica insists that she needs only Hoyt to be happy.
Arlene and Terry
Arlene comes home to find her baby surrounded by headless Barbie dolls. Terry tries to reassure her that he is acting like a normal boy, but she is obviously terrified of what he'll become.
Sam is paying, both financially and emotionally, for shooting Tommy, who has an injured leg and is being cared for by Hoyt's mother. Required to attend anger management classes, Sam meets with other shifters who have anger issues.
No word yet on Alcide or Crystal.
Almost as awesome as the episode was Nick Cave and Neko Case's cover of The Zombies' "She's Not There." Enjoy listening, and have a fangtastic week!
Just like season 4, we're about to get The True Blood Challenge started again! Given life changes and busier schedules, we've had to scale back on the scope of our blog, but we hope you will find it to be just as entertaining as before. Here's the scoop!
On the first of each month, we will post a themed challenge. To be considered for the drawing, you must post your submission by 11:59 pm EST on the final day of the month.
Weekly, we will post episode summaries on Mondays and teasers/spoilers on Fridays (starting tomorrow).
There will also be random giveaways throughout the season.